


That's what friends are for?!

by ChibyL



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, M/M, Protective!Louis, hurt!Niall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-11 10:16:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5623627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChibyL/pseuds/ChibyL
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis has always been in love with Niall. But Niall is with Zayn right now...</p>
            </blockquote>





	That's what friends are for?!

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first story in this fandom and probably the longest OS I have ever written. It's sort of dedicated to the girl who introduced me to this fandom, even if I'm not really sure she'll ever read it. 
> 
> It's based on a real story, sadly. Her story. I still don't know how it will end for her, hence why the open ending.
> 
> Thanks to my beta!
> 
> Enjoy!

Louis has been in love with his best friend for as long as he can remember. It is a matter of fact and he is almost sure that everyone knows. Well, everyone except for Niall, always with his head in his own world and not noticing what happens right in front of him.

 

And Niall is with Zayn now.

 

Niall met him at college, they are both studying law and Louis should have seen it coming. Niall always talked about him, about Zayn giving the right answer in class, always being the first one to do his paperwork, always trying to help Niall when he didn’t know how to do something. At first he had forced himself to think Niall and Zayn where just friends.

 

Louis had done his best to hide how it hurt when Niall told him that he and Zayn were ‘a thing’. It had been an accident that a tear had slipped from the corner of his eye. But it had been fine, Niall hadn’t even noticed, too focused on rambling about his new boyfriend and how amazing he was.

 

Two days later Niall had called Louis at seven in the morning, waking him up just to tell him that  his fucking amazing boyfriend had taken him “ _Do you know where, Lou – boy? To Cherry’s!_ ” and that hurt even more. It hurt because Cherry’s was a Lou and Ni thing. It had been Louis to take Niall there for the first time, years ago and Niall had loved that place so much that they went there other times. Almost every month, sometimes even more often. And now it was Zayn taking him there.

 

But Louis has always been too gentle to point that out. So he started to fake joy for his best friend. He has been faking more and more, listening all Niall’s stories about Zayn being so perfect.

 

Then there had been sex.

 

Louis had been waiting ages for Niall, dreaming about their perfect first time together, losing virginity together in a romantic place and all. And here he was, listening while Niall spoke about flowers and candles and musk scent. And other very intimate details that Louis doesn’t want to think about anymore.

 

And the worst part is that Niall is always so naïve that Louis can’t even get angry at him.

 

Louis has even met Zayn once. Worst experience ever. To see them holding hands and kissing had been too much and Louis had been so masochist to stare at them until he felt like throwing up.

 

Harry, who had come along because, “ _Niall, I love you but I don’t want to be the third one_ ”, had noticed and rushed him to the bathroom just before Louis started to cry.

 

“You need to tell him,” Harry had tried. But Louis had just shook his head.

 

It has been going on like this for almost three months, three long months in which Niall has been living his daydream and Louis his worst nightmare.

 

Then today Niall showed up to Louis’ door, his cheeks blotchy and wet, his hands shaking.

 

-

 

Louis had been working on a paperwork for his class.

 

Well, he had mostly been complaining about how hard it is to be a University student and cursing over every single paragraph he had been reading in the past hour and half, wondering why he had choose music instead of… whatever else. Louis is pretty sure that in this moment everything would be better than music. He can’t write songs, that’s it.

 

And he misses home. Right now he regrets his choice to live alone since he graduated from high school. It had seemed a great idea then, now he just misses his easier life, when his mom would do everything for him and he just had to focus on his studies and had a lot of free time. He doesn’t remember what free time means right now, with all the exams and strenuous lessons and his apartment to take care of, food and laundry and everything else.

 

By the way, he just turned the page when someone knocks on the door.

 

“Ni, what’s wrong?”

 

Niall chokes back a sob, chewing on his knuckles in that adorable way he does whenever he is upset.

 

Louis just puts a hand on his wrist, pulling his hand out of his mouth and holding it tight while he guides Niall inside.

 

They sit quietly on the couch and it takes a while for Niall to finally mumble, “Zayn broke up with me.”

 

Louis had always thought he wanted to hear those words and probably deep down he is happy. He just can’t manage to enjoy the moment while Niall is a sobbing mess right in front of him.

 

“What happened?”

 

“Nothing. I don’t know. He just picked me up, we were supposed to go on a date and he was like ‘I don’t love you anymore’ and he didn’t want to tell me why, he didn’t want to tell me what I did wrong and I have no clue, Lou, you have to believe me, I love him with all my heart, I would never do anything to upset him and he wasn’t even angry, he just told me to forget about him and then I tried to kiss him and he stopped me and went away and-”

 

“Ni,” Louis stops him, rubbing a hand on his back, hoping to comfort him at least a little bit, “Ni, you have to breathe. Breathe and just stop thinking for a moment, you are going to get sick if you don’t calm down.”

 

He tries to make Niall relax, but he keeps shaking, all his muscles tense and stiff and he is chewing on his hand again.

 

“You’ll make it bleed,” Louis points out, mostly because he doesn’t know what else to say,

 

“I don’t care,” Niall mumbles around his hand, “I love him so much.”

 

“It will be okay”, Louis sighs, resting his head on Niall’s shoulder and hugging him tight.

 

They stay like that for an impossibly long amount of time, then Lou pulls back a little, stroking Niall’s arm and trying to look at him in the eyes, “Come on, wash your face. We are going out.”

It’s barely seven in the afternoon and they can still have a little time together, at least that will stop Niall from crying his eyes out.

 

“I really don’t-”

 

“Yes, you do. Come on, Ni.”

 

It’s always like this between them. Louis has to hold his hand again and guide him to the bathroom, motioning to the sink and disappearing to pick him new clothes. It’s mostly because Zayn gave that shirt to Niall and Louis doesn’t like it, but it’s also because that’s what he always does. It happened when Niall’s father left and Greg called Louis because they couldn’t calm Niall down and maybe he needed a friend. It happened again when Niall had been rejected from the college he applied to and he thought he couldn’t do anything with his life anymore. Niall likes the warmth of Louis’ clothes, it calms him down in a oddly way, as he shamefully admitted once.

 

When Niall comes out the bathroom his face is still flushed, his lips wet and red and his eyes swollen but at least he isn’t crying anymore.

 

Louis takes him to the park, buys him ice cream – peanut, mint and almonds on top, because it’s Niall and he is the only one who can eat something like that – and they talk.

 

Mostly about Zayn and all the great memories Niall has, which makes him cry again. So Louis brings up a new subject, “Ni, why don’t you help me write that new song?”

 

Niall might have refused to go to a music college, but he is a fucking great writer and Louis really needs to write that song for next his week’s lesson. Despite Louis telling him that he is wasted doing something boring like law, Niall keeps saying that music is just his guilty pleasure, that he’d never be good enough to do that for a job and besides he is too shy to sing in public. Louis is actually one of the few lucky ones to know he has an amazing voice and a talent for writing lyrics.

 

“You make me bleed until I can’t breathe, shaking, falling onto my knees-” Niall starts singing, his voice getting sadder word by word.

 

“Ni, that’s already a song, And I’d like something less… depressing.”

 

So Niall tries again, in a completely different key, “Yeah, we’ll be doing what we do, just pretending that we are cool and we know it too!”

 

“Great!” Louis claps his hands once, typing the lyrics on his phone afraid to forget them and gaining a weird look from his friend. “What?”

 

“That is a song, Louis. Someone already wrote it, I was just kidding.”

 

“Fuck you, Horan!” Louis grunts, playfully smacking Niall’s head with his hand and almost gaining a smile from him.

 

When Niall’s phone rings Louis almost asks him to ignore the call, but Niall has already picked it from his pocket.

 

“It’s Zayn,” he says, showing Louis the incoming call with a pic of Niall and Zayn kissing and the name, Zee – love.

 

Louis shrugs pretending to write something on his own phone just to avoid looking at Niall. He can’t hear what Zayn says, but he catches the quiet tone, the not so apologetic hint of his voice. Niall barely talks, just telling him exactly where he is and ending the call with a “Thank you. I love you so much” that feels like a stab wound to Louis’ heart.

 

“So?”

 

Niall walks to a bench, sitting on it with a satisfied look on his face, “He is coming. He said he wants to talk. I think he wants to tell me he didn’t mean it, that he was just messing around. You don’t mind me going with him, right?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Wow, Lou! You could be a little bit happier for me.”

 

“He made you cry, Niall. I don’t like him.”

 

“He didn’t mean it,” Niall replies quickly and Louis clenches his jaw before he can give voice to his thought and regret it later.

 

“Do I look good?” Niall asks and Louis looks at him.

 

Perfect, to be honest. His eyes sparkle in the night and the t-shirt he is wearing is tight perfectly showing the abs, he has been working so hard on himself lately. He looks great, Louis has to admit it, but he still thinks Zayn shouldn’t have forced him to the gym. Because it was Zayn! Niall has always refused to go to the gym with Louis, he even used to try and skip PE back in high school.

 

“Yeah,” Louis finally answers, not wanting to stare too long, “Just let me fix your hair.”

 

Yup, because it’s Louis’ due. Not to mention that he loves running his hands trough Niall’s soft locks.

 

He has just finished when a bike approaches them and Niall stands up quickly, almost running to kiss Zayn.

 

Zayn barely replies, he doesn’t closes his eyes and doesn’t change his posture. He just lets Niall be and Louis doesn’t like it. Once Niall splits from him, Zayn waves at Louis. “Hi, Lou – boy. How are you mate?” he asks and Louis fakes a smile, not bothering to answer. They are not friends and besides Niall is the only one who is allowed to call him Lou – boy. He doesn’t like how it sounds when Zayn says it. And they are not mates.

 

“Want to hang out with us?” Zayn asks and Louis doesn’t know if he is serious or not.

 

He mouths a weird, “What?” and after a moment of pure embarrassment says his goodbyes, praying Niall to let him know when he gets back home.

 

-

 

Niall waves back at Louis, making a face. ‘Mother hen,’ he wants to tell him, but Louis is always so nice that Niall doesn’t have the heart to.

 

He climbs on Zayn’s bike, gently hugging him from behind and nuzzling his head in the crook of his shoulder.

 

“Thank you,” he breaths against the fabric of his leather jacket, but the noise of the bike must be too loud because Zayn doesn’t reply, so maybe he didn’t hear him.

 

“Where are we going?” Niall asks, louder this time.

 

“Home.”

 

Cool. It’s cold outside and Niall wants to talk and cuddle. He wants to make hot chocolate and sip it while watching a movie, that’s perfect.

 

But as soon as he they get to Zayn’s, Niall is pushed upstairs, thrown on the bed so hard that he can’t breathe for a moment and then Zayn is on the top of him.

 

“Zee,” he whines, “Are we okay?”

 

“Sure,” is Zayn’s answer, before he shows his tongue into Niall’s mouth.

 

And so they have sex.

 

It’s an amazing sex, basing on Niall’s little experience. Zayn is so good with him, so careful and Niall is so happy he was his first. His last too allegedly. They are meant to be together.

 

As soon as they are done, Zayn stands up, pulling his pants back on and looking for a clean shirt. Niall just stares at him, half propped up on this elbows.

 

“Why don’t we stay here just for a while?” he suggests.

 

Zayn doesn’t even turn to him, “My mom is coming home. You need to go.”

 

“What?” he can’t help being so upset. They were having a good time. Besides Zayn’s mom already met him, they could stay home with her.

 

“Zee-”

 

“Come on, dress up quickly. I’ll give you a lift.”

 

At that Niall smiles. So Zayn wants to spend a little more time with him. How cute. Not to mention that Niall’s home is so far and it’s dark outside, it wouldn’t have been a pleasure to walk home alone.

 

Also he loves to climb on Zayn’s bike.

 

They barely turn the corner of the road out of Zayn’s house when Zayn pulls over and motions for Niall to get down.

 

“What? Why?”

 

“Niall, don’t be so difficult now. My parents were coming and I had to pull you out of my house without you having a temper tantrum. You can go home now.”

 

Niall freezes for a moment, his mouth slightly open, completely unable to move. What’s happening?

 

“Niall, come on.”

 

“Zee, please. My house is almost an hour from here. At least-”

 

“Niall, it’s not like I’m your boyfriend and I have to take care of you. Now get off this damn bike before I lose my patience.”

 

“What?”

 

“I’m losing it, Niall. Really.”

 

“What do you mean you are not my boyfriend,” he chokes out. He can already feel tears burning behind his eyes, but Zayn hates to see him cry so Niall tries to be strong.

 

“I told you, I don’t love you anymore. I don’t want to be your boyfriend. We are nothing. Can you get that or do I have to phrase it better?”

 

Niall feels like the world has stopped. There is just the hard pounding of his heart into his ribcage, his raspy breath making white puffs in front of his mouth. “Zee…”

 

“Niall, seriously, get off!” Zayn says again, reaching behind to grab his wrist and pull but Niall doesn’t move.

 

He can’t. He is shaking so bad now and tears are already streaming down his cheeks.

 

He barely registers Zayn getting off the bike, barely able to keep it up because of Nialls’s weight and putting it on the easer. Then his strong arms are cradling Niall’s waist and who knows, maybe he wants to apologize?

 

Or maybe not. Niall should have known better because Zayn just picks him up with little effort given Niall’s small frame, and eases him on the ground.

 

“Zee…”

 

“And stop calling me like that! You seem retarded.”

 

“Zayn please. You can’t leave me here.”

 

“Wanna bet?”

 

“Zee it’s dark and I’m cold. Please, just look at me. I- Please, Zayn.”

 

Zayn just shakes his head, pitying him and climbs back on his bike, speeding away and leaving him alone.

 

For a couple of minutes all Niall can do is stare at the empty street in front of him. He is not even crying anymore, or maybe his cheeks are too cold to actually feel tears running down. He is not thinking, his mind seems not to be able to work.

 

Almost on instinct he throws his left hand into his mouth, sucking on his knuckles, chewing on them in the way Louis always tells him not to. Oh, right. Louis.

 

He takes his phone from his pocket and texts. – Zee left me.

 

Few seconds and Louis replies: - Told u he s an ass. How r u? U r better of w/out him, mate.

 

Niall reads it trough his clouded eyes and smiles without any happiness. – I meant left me on the road.

 

Actually, he meant both.

 

He sighs when his phone rings and Louis’ face appears on the screen.

 

“Ehy,” he mumbles, his voice low and raspy.

 

“Niall, what do you mean on the road? Are you okay? Where are you?”

 

Niall’s brain can’t focus on all those questions. All he can think of is Zayn leaving him like that.

 

“Lou?”

 

“I’m here, Ni. Talk to me.”

 

“I think I’m gonna throw up.” Which is exactly what happens as soon as the last words escape his mouth.

 

Niall slightly bends, holding his hands on his knees, unaware that if he doesn’t keep the phone next to his ear he can’t hear Louis’ voice and throws up on the side of the road.

 

He dry heaves a couple of times refusing to open his eyes and see the mess on the ground, then he hears Louis screaming his name over the phone and brings it back to his ear.

 

“Sorry, Lou.”

 

“Where are you?”

 

“Not far from Zee’s house.”

 

“Yeah, Niall and where is that again?” Louis sounds slightly annoyed from Niall’s answer but he is probably just worried. Cute, sweet Louis always caring so much. This time Niall gives him a better answer.

 

He doesn’t really like the idea of Louis driving so late but he doesn’t trust himself to walk all the way home even more. So he thanks Louis and hangs up, doing exactly what he told him.

 

“ _Don’t stay on the road. Try to find somewhere to sit. Even the sidewalk is okay. Use your phone and listen to ‘Little things’_.” It’s their song. They wrote it together a couple years ago and Niall loves it so much, especially because Louis’ voice is always so reassuring. “ _And put your hand out your mouth, Ni!_ ” Oh right. His hand stings slightly, Niall must have been biting on it too hard.

 

He is listening to the song for the fourth time when Louis’ car pulls over, his friend leaving the door open and running out to hug him tight.

 

“Lou, it’s not wise to leave your car like that,” he points out.

 

“God, you are freezing,” Louis notices, running his warm hands all over Niall’s wet face. “Come on, can you stand up?”

 

Niall nods, taking Louis outstretched hand and not letting go until he is sitting in the passenger’s seat. Louis closes his door, going on the other side of the car and starting it.

 

“Lou?”

 

“What?”

 

“Why did he do that?”

 

Louis doesn’t answer, busying himself with the air conditioner, trying to warm the cubicle as much as possible, carefully turning the vent so that the air doesn’t go directly on Niall’s face, not wanting to add to all of his pains an asthma attack.

 

“Do you want to talk?”

 

Niall looks at Louis, taking in his hard look and the tight grip on the steering wheel. “Later, maybe.”

 

“Sure. How do you feel? Physically, I mean. You look like you are about to faint.”

 

“Head hurts,” his head always hurts when he cries and he has been crying a lot lately.

 

“It’s okay. Do you want to crash to mine?”

 

Niall doesn’t even think about it, quickly texting his brother, “As long as we can cuddle on the couch.”

 

“Finding Nemo or Toy story?”

 

Niall just smiles, thanking God for sending Louis Tomlinson into his life.

 

“I love you so much, Lou.”

 

“Yeah, I love you too.”

 

And Niall is too deep into his own self pity that he misses the sadness in Louis’ voice.

 

-

 

When they finally make it home, Louis points to the bathroom, because, “Ni, you are still shaking like a leaf and we don’t want you to get sick,” so Niall has to shower.

 

But when Louis comes back with some pajama pants and a hoodie, Niall is still standing there.

 

“Need help?”

 

Niall nods, letting Louis strip him out of his clothes, leaving just his boxers on.

 

Louis gets naked too, ready to get under the shower with him. It’s horrible for Louis to stay this close to Niall, knowing that he could be a brother to him, but never more. So he swallows down the sadness and anger and focuses on his priority - making Niall feel better.

 

He grabs his wrist, taking him in the shower and as soon as the warm water wets him, Niall starts to cry again. So Louis just waits.

 

“I couldn’t feel my fingers,” Niall says at some point, clenching and unclenching his fists in front of him to show his point.

 

“Better now?”

 

“Always better when you are with me.”

 

Louis opens him mouth, an astonished ‘Really?’ almost leaving his mouth. He wants to kiss Niall to badly, wants to show him how much he loves him, how much better he could be than Zayn. But it wouldn’t be fair to do something like that when Niall is already so messed up.

 

“Lou? What did I do wrong?”

 

Louis holds back a sob, “You chose the wrong guy to fall in love with.”

 

-

 

Two days later when Niall is finally ready to tell Louis what happened, Louis has to do his best to remember that murder is not legal.

 

“He had sex with you and left you, Ni.” It’s not Louis’ attitude to be this rude, but he can’t help it. Zayn had left Niall, treating him like a whore. Still, here is Niall, trying to call Zayn and working his mind on what he could have done wrong. Seriously?!

 

“I know what he did, Lou. But I love him.”

 

And Louis can’t take it anymore. “Niall, please. Do not make me throw your phone to the wall, just forget about him. Delete his number, your pictures, his texts and start to live again.”

 

“I can’t Lou. I love him,” he says again, sounding like a broken recorder.

 

“And he doesn’t love you back.”

 

Niall’s eyes are suddenly full of tears, his hand already in his mouth when he replies, “It’s not fair.”

 

Then he looks back at the screen of his phone, where Zayn just texted: - Leave me the fuck alone.

 

-Zee, please we have to talk. You can’t leave me like this.

 

-And you can’t harass me like this.

 

At this Louis grabs the damn phone from Niall’s shaky hand and shows it into his pocket, “Enough. We are going out.”

 

And so they do.

 

They have fun, going to the cinema and watching a shitty movie while eating pop corn, like they used to before the whole Zayn thing.

 

At some point during the break, Niall goes to the bathroom and Louis remembers about the phone into his pocket, deciding to finally erase all of Zayn’s tracks.

 

Despite of everything, as soon as they are back home and Louis gives the phone back, the first thing that Niall does is to look for Zayn’s number to call him and he is a little pissed when he finds out what Louis has done.

 

“I did it for you, you’ll thank me some day,” Louis tells him, knowing that as much as he is angry at the moment, Niall will never stop being his friend.

 

-

 

Then Zayn comes into the picture again. A simple text, again.

 

\- We need to talk. I am sorry.

 

And Louis’ whole world goes crashing down.

 

Niall looks super excited and Louis really doesn’t understand. “He treated you so badly,” he tries, but Niall doesn’t even listen, trying to decide what to wear between Louis’ clothes. He has been staying to him the whole time; borrowing most of his clothes has never been a problem.

 

“Niall, seriously. He is an ass and you are just getting back on your feet, don’t go. Tell him you can have someone who is better than him. You deserve better, Ni.”

 

He is almost begging, but he swears it has nothing to do with the way he feels about his best friend, it’s just that he can’t see Niall hurt again.

 

“You’ll understand when you’ll fall in love,” Niall replies, finally putting a shirt on, “Now I have to go.”

 

And Louis can’t take it anymore. “Fine. Go and make him have fun. Be his bitch. But do me a favor, when he throws you away like trash again, don’t come crying here this time. I’m tired of always being the one who picks up your pieces while you are so fucking dumb,” he shouts.

 

And he expects some sort of reaction. Whichever, just something.

 

Instead Niall’s phone rings. “It’s Zayn. I have to go now, we’ll talk later.” He says, grabbing Louis’ coat and going away, leaving Louis standing there like an idiot.

 

So Louis sits on the couch and cries himself to sleep.

 

He is shivering, but he is too lazy to go find a blanket or even go to his room, so he just lays there.

 

-

 

When he wakes up his cheeks are still wet and he wonders if you can cry in your sleep even when you are not dreaming because one thing is sure, he was definitely not dreaming at the moment. His back aches from laying curled up on the couch, but more than everything else, his head is killing him. And the noise coming from his phone is not helping.

 

He blindly looks for the source of the noise, refusing to open his eyes and answers with a hoarse, “Hi.”

 

“Lou it’s Greg,” a worried voice calls and Louis instantly regrets answering without checking who it was.

 

“Niall is not here,” he says, ready to hang up. “Went out with his friend.” And seriously, he hadn’t meant to sound that annoyed.

 

Greg chuckles and Louis can imagine him grinning the way all the Horans do, “Oh, you mean the boyfriend you don’t like so much.” Louis wants to argue something like ‘It’s not that I don’t like him, it’s that he is an ass and Niall deserves better,’ but Greg keeps talking. “By the way, I was worried, he didn’t call yesterday and he doesn’t answer his phone.”

 

Louis bites his lower lip. Since they were kids, when Niall began spending nights to Louis’ he has always called his brother. Niall lives with him since their parents’ death and Greg tends to be overprotective sometimes, but Niall has always been good handling him. A simple call to tell him he is staying to Louis’ and everything is fine. Niall has been making the call all these evenings in the past few days. So it’s quite weird, and despite trying to think it’s just because he is busy with Zayn, Louis can’t help being worried. Niall never forgets.

 

“Just let me know if you hear from him,” Greg says before hanging up.

 

Louis sits worrying on the couch for the next few seconds before deciding that fuck everything, he needs to know that Niall is fine. As much as he hates always being the one who does the first step, he can’t help worrying when it comes to his friend.

 

Besides his GPS knows where Zayn lives, he can go there and at least tell Niall he is an ass for worrying his brother so much. And Niall doesn’t need to know that Louis is worrying to.

 

So he drives, fast as he has never done before and knocks on the door which shows the surname Malik.

 

“Hi,” a woman, long grey hair and bright chocolate eyes greets.

 

“Is there Zayn?”

 

“Sure, he is upstairs. You know, still a little bit shaken up.”

 

Louis nods not really knowing what he is supposed to say. The woman obviously thinks he is a friend of Zayn and he can’t tell her it’s not true, so he fakes his best smile and goes upstairs, following her instructions.

 

 _First door on the left_. He knocks on the door and steps inside when Zayn calls, “No need to check on me every five seconds, mom!”

 

“I’m not your mom,” Louis says bitterly, taking in Zayn’s hunched over posture as he sits on his bed, with his back on the headrest, a book laying in his lap.

 

“Where is Niall?”

 

“Happy to see you too, Lou – boy!”

 

“Tell me where is Niall, Zayn. You don’t want me telling your mom what you did to him.”

 

Zayn shrugs, grinning at him, “You think you can come here and scare me? My mom already knows we aren’t together anymore and you really think she will believe you and not me? By the way, I think he is still in the hospital.”

 

“Hospital?” Louis repeats, his eyes going wide. Maybe they have had a fight and Zayn hit him and if that’s the situation Louis will make sure to make him suffer. Just, not now. Now he has to know that Niall is fine and that he is not alone in a hospital room.

 

“Yeah, hospital. That dumbass broke my bike and managed to smack his head on the sidewalk.”

 

Louis swallows harshly, “Smack his head? Where is he?”

 

“Told you, hospital!”

 

Louis steps closer, taking advantage of the fact that Zayn is currently sitting on the bed to tower over him and punch him straight in the face, uncaring of his mom being downstairs. “Where is Niall?”

 

“Saint Luke’s Hospital, Lou – boy.” Zayn answers, rubbing his sore jaw and Louis is out of his eyes even before Zayn has a chance to do some other bad jokes.

 

He quickly calls Greg and heads straight to the hospital.

 

-

 

“Niall Horan,” he asks to the first nurse he sees.

 

“Oh finally!” she answers, her eyes lighting up, “His friend left him here and never came back. Poor kid is so sad.”

 

Of course Niall had to make the whole hospital fall in love with him! And fucking Zayn, Louis regrets throwing just one punch at him. At least if Niall is sad it means that he is awake, so it can’t be that bad, right?

 

“Can we see him?” Greg asks and Louis wonders when he arrived.

 

The nurse leads them to a room and Louis peeks his head inside just to see Niall laying on a bed, his eyes closed. He looks fine so far and Louis can breathe better now.

 

“Sleeping?” Greg asks, but the nurse shakes her head, telling them that he was awake less than five minutes ago, when she had last checked on him.

 

Louis listens to her without taking his eyes away from his friend, so he can see how Niall slowly turns his head, looking at them with his big eyes. That’s when Louis forgets of everyone being there and steps into Niall’s room, slowly approaching his bed. “Ni! Ni, I was so worried, what happened?” There is a white patch on his temple, that’s where he must have hit his head.

 

Niall shrugs, crossing his arms on his chest with the most adorable pout Louis has ever seen, “None of your business, remember?”

 

“Niall, please. You spent the night here all alone and scared me and your brother to death, I think we deserve some explanations here.”

 

If Louis hadn’t known Niall so well, he’d say that Niall is angry, but he doesn’t miss how his friend is relieved to see them, even if he keeps pretending to want to be left alone. “Well, you said I shouldn’t come crying to you anymore and I didn’t. And I didn’t want to scare you, Greg,” Niall explains, shifting from Louis to Greg, “I am fine, they just wanted to keep me overnight. I would have come home in a couple of hours and no one had to worry. I just… sort of forgot to call.”

 

Louis runs a hand through his hair, “You dumbass! You forgot because you had a concussion. Do you remember how you got it, idiot?”

 

“Lou!” Greg warns, stepping closer.

 

“I fell from Zayn’s bike.”

 

“Yeah, idiot! And where is he now?”

 

“I have to agree with him, Ni,” Greg says, trying to keep everyone calm. Well, at least someone in this family still has a brain!

 

Niall already has his hand in his mouth, but at this point Louis doesn’t bother to tell him to stop. He is a mess and well, maybe it’s aggravated from being in a hospital bed and still having a bit of a concussion, but Louis still feels bad about it.

 

“He was probably busy.”

 

Louis wants to cry, but at least he can hear how Niall’s voice falters. As much as he is trying, he doesn’t believe his own words, he is slowly realizing that Zayn hasn’t done the right thing and even if Louis wishes Niall would hate Zayn, it’s better than nothing.

 

“Who are you trying to persuade, Ni? Me and Louis or yourself? Not that it matters right now. You are not allowed to see him anymore.”

 

“I am not a kid anymore, Greg. I do what I want.”

 

“Sure you do,” Greg replies, loudly popping his tongue in his mouth, “But if I ever see him again I’ll break all of his teeth, so try and hide him well.”

 

Niall rolls his eyes, too tired to argue, disappointment written on his face.

 

-

 

 

It’s four days later that Louis receives a text from Niall. He has gone home with Greg and for some reason he has refused to go out at all, so Louis has been visiting him every single day and today has been no different. He just came home half an hour ago when his phone rings.

 

– Can I tell you something?

 

– Sure, he types with no hesitation.

 

– I can’t do this anymore.

 

– Do what?

 

– Live. Louis doesn’t reply and few seconds later his phone rings again. – I’m afraid I might do something stupid.

 

That’s when Louis calls him. “Niall, stop this right now!” he yells over the phone.

 

“I love him so much,” Niall cries over the phone and Louis has to remind himself that he loves Niall and that this is serious to not hang up the phone right now.

 

“Where is Greg?” he asks instead and when Niall mumbles something that reminds him a ‘Downstairs,’ Louis tells him to call his brother. “Tell him you don’t want to be alone.”

 

“No, Lou,” he objects faintly.

 

“Okay, I’m coming.”

 

As soon as he hangs up, Louis calls Greg begging him to stay with Niall and that it is serious.

 

When he finally makes it to Niall’s he doesn’t even want to know why the door is open, he rushes himself upstairs just in time to hear Niall fighting against his brother. “I wasn’t- Greg, I’m not under 72 hours watch. It was just a moment and Louis is overreacting!”

 

Louis sighs and approaches them, sitting on the bed next to Niall, rubbing his pale arm. “How do you feel?”

 

“I told you not to tell him,” he grunts, blinking his watery eyes.

 

“Lou, if you don’t mind I have to-” Greg excuses himself without giving them a real reason, and Louis figures he is just too sad to stand his brother right now.

 

So they are alone.

 

“Ni, I want to tell you something,” Louis decides at some point, letting Niall shift on the bed and cradle against him. “And I want you to listen carefully. Remember when you told me ‘I’ll understand when I’ll fall in love’? Well, I already am. I am in love, with an amazing boy whose smile stole my heart. But you know what? He doesn’t love me back. And he has been mean to me sometimes.”

 

Niall rests his head on Louis’ shoulder, holding his hand tightly and Louis squeezes it.

 

“But I don’t hate him and you know why? I don’t hate him because he didn’t do that on purpose, he has always been a friend to me. And yes, it hurts because he means so much more to me, but he has always been there for me, always having my back. Do you remember that time when I drove into a pole and my car broke?”

 

Niall nods against his shoulder and Louis smiles, even if his friend can’t see him right now. “Well, he came rescuing me at three in the morning, picked me up and stayed with me the whole night afraid I might be traumatized. He cared, in his own cute way. Zayn left you at the hospital. I came to him, asked him where you could be and all he cared about was his damn bike. I punched him, you know? Hope I damaged his damn pretty face. No on messes up with you while I’m around! But the point is, you can’t still love him. He is a douche, he hurt you in every possible way and here you are, still willing to die for him. And I can’t stand it.”

 

With this Louis shuts up, waiting for Niall’s reaction, his heart beating a little faster.

 

“Lou?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“It was me. I was the one who picked you up that night, I remember sleeping on your couch.” Of course Niall had to catch that from the whole conversation.

 

Before Louis can decide how he feels about coming out to his friend, or if he is still in time to lie, Niall’s arms are hugging him tightly.

 

“I’m so sorry, Lou. Didn’t mean to hurt you. So sorry.”

 

And Louis slowly hugs back, running a hand through Niall’s hair, resting his chin on his head. “It’s fine,” he whispers. You can’t choose who you love and maybe at some point in the future he’ll be over Niall and he’ll be able to be happy and fall in love. Right now all he cares about is the scent of Niall’s hair and the quiet sniffing coming from him.

 

“Lou? I know it’s not fair. I know I should have realized it.”

 

“I told you, Ni. It’s fine, you don’t have to apologize anymore,” Louis says and it’s not because he doesn’t want Niall to feel guilty, it’s because he can’t hear this anymore. He can’t think about this right now.

 

But Niall seems to have other plans, as he moves back from Louis’ hug and looks at him, “Look, I can’t say I love you, not in the way you want me to. But I love you somehow. I think you have been the more constant presence in my life. And I am still not so sure I know what love is.”

 

“Ni-”

 

“What I am trying to say is that… that maybe we should try? And please, before you think I am kidding or that I am trying to replace Zayn with you, try to get this. I don’t mean I want to be with you, I mean… I want to try and understand. I have never seen you under that light, I don’t know how I feel about you.”

 

Louis rubs his eyes, pretending not to be crying, just because Niall is the one who does the crying and Louis is the one who offers his shoulder to cry on, not the other way around and he feels so stupid right now, so stupid because he is letting Niall fix something he wasn’t even supposed to know. So, is it a bad thing that Louis nods his head, giving Niall his consent to do whatever he wants with his heart?


End file.
